The Evolving Internet Marketer

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Opal Defines Blog

Social Media, keeping the streets safe for the rest of us…

You Know It’s an April Fool’s Kind of Year When…

Scott Friedman is  a friend of mine and a motivational humorist who keeps audiences laughing all over the world. Every month he sends out a post card with a very humorous ‘top 10′ list. His upcoming April Fools’ list really tickled my funny bone, something sorely needed amidst all the gloomy economic news, and I asked if he’d mind if I reprint his list here. Scott was happy to give permission so with a drum roll (or a rim shot) … 

Scott Friedman’s “You Know It’s an April Fool’s Kind of Year When…” List

10. Instead of keeping up with the Joneses … you drag them down to your level.
9. You’re now selling furniture for a living. Unfortunately, it is your own.
8. No need to worry about upgrading to Digital TV as all of your TVs have been repossessed.
7. Even your imaginary friend on Facebook won’t write back.
6. Your partner asks, “How much do we have in the bank?” You respond, “Hmmm, let me shake it.”
5. You trade your stock portfolio for what’s behind Door #2.
4. Your seven course meal is now Rice-a-Roni and a six-pack.
3. Taking your honey on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
2. You join a bridge club. Your jump is scheduled for next Tuesday.
1. You wake up screaming and you haven’t even gone to bed yet.

You can find information on Scott on his web site at www.FunnyScott.com. Click Fun Stuff on the menu to read a collection of his funniest top 10 lists.

The Death Knell for Blogging?

They sucked me right in on this one, didn’t they?

I Won’t Be Ignored, Says Andy Wibbels. Yes You Will Be Says My Outlook.

Blogging guru and author of Blogwild!: A Guide for Small Business Blogging, Andy Wibbels was given his comeuppance today by my Outlook client.

In Andy’s defense, I am a subscriber, my Outlook felt he was being a bit pushy. (Cue Alanis Morissette.)

What’s the Font? And Questions that Web Owners Need to Know

Do you like your site’s design but your graphic artist or web designer is no longer available? Now you want to make changes but you have images that use fonts and color schemes and you don’t which fonts or color schemes were used? 

Aside from things like ftp login info, domain registration documentation and all of that stuff, you also should know what the colors and fonts were used in creating your site graphics. It can save a lot of aggravation later.

By the way, a couple of nice tools that will help you solve these mysteries if need be…

To find the name of the fonts used, check out “What the Font”. I used this on a recent client site where we were building a new header for his blog which used the existing site header but needed a new label. 

To figure out the color I use a Firefox addon called Colorzilla - it’s simple and works quite well. 

How to (Not) Get Rich!

Tara Kachaturoff, posting at AndyWibbels.com reminded me that one man’s stupid business idea is another’s gateway to that two story colonial on Easy Street in her post on Creative Business Ideas. In it she references a NicheGeek.com blog post on 10 Totally Stupid Online Business Ideas That Made Someone Rich. It reminded me of an idea for running tights that I conceived for a college marketing class years before running tights started showing up in the stores. But my marketing professor panned the idea so I never pursued it only to be bemused and frustrated because, not only did someone else introduce them and make – no doubt – a fortune but I got a stinkin’ C- on my report. (Fred Smith’s idea for FedEx was also panned by his professor; good for him that he didn’t pay attention.)

Point is take a look at the NicheGeeks list and then think about those crazy ideas you’ve had in the middle of the night or when frustrated by one of life’s little stumbling blocks (anyone po’ed like me by top sheets that are always un-tucking themselves – how about ‘Top Pocket® sheets?’; top sheets with a mattress shaped pocket attached to one end … “Never retuck a top sheet again!” Silly idea? Maybe. My wife thinks so anyway but is her opinion standing in the way of my millions?!

Because often that’s the difference between daily drudgery and financial freedom. We don’t have the guts or gumption to pursue our dreams, our crazy ideas, our ‘Spose® – Sport Hose for Athletes’. We let the lack of imagination of friends, colleagues or relatives dampen our own enthusiasm.

So what to do. For starters, reconsider your list of crazy ideas. Or start one to hold all the ideas and opportunities that occur to you. Write ‘em down. Come back to them in a few days or a few weeks, if an idea still resonates then consider what it will take to take them to the next level. And … take … those … steps! What do you have to lose except your negative net worth?

Blogging is Not Barking

Technorati is currently tracking almost 113 million blogs. They report that 18 blog updates are posted every second. With all this ‘yapping’, how do you get attention for your message? Like any other product, yours just happens to be information, you need to promote it effectively to the audience you want to reach. But more than this, what you have to say, the information you want to share, has to be of sufficient value that your audience wants to hear it, consume it, act on it … Otherwise it’s just so much “pointless, incessant barking…”

This great cartoon is from one of the most fabulous social commentaries of our time (and the time slightly before ours) … The Complete Cartoons of the New Yorker.

Blog! (or else!)

I often advise my clients – or anyone considering starting a blog – that they need to blog consistently and regularly if they hope to attract and retain an audience. After all, how quickly would you stop checking your driveway or front porch every morning if your newspaper only showed up sporadically. That’s why I had to chuckle when I saw this in my morning newspaper (yeah, I read the comics first; they’re the spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine – aka, news – do down):

So how often should you blog? The top bloggers may post dozens of times a day. For a business blog, the rule of thumb I recommend is to post at least 3 times weekly.

Please Pig, Back Away from the Nigerian…

I normally don’t suggest taking advice from rats but, in this case, heed his wisdom.

One Hundred (and Seven) Ways to Get Your Email Blocked

Marketing Profs published an article by Jordan Ayen of SubscriberMail that lists the one hundred sure fire words and phrases guaranteed to get your emails blocked if you use them in your subject line (and often in the body of your posts as well). The seven they reference are George Carlin’s infamous list – I guess they still have legs in email if, increasingly, nowhere else. Funny, huh, that email is so prudish.

Interesting that while Cialis and Levitra made the list, Viagra was not to be found. Hmmm. Spam blockers as market research tool … you know that your product is hitting the skids when it can’t even make the list of top spam terms!

My favorite on the list was, you’ll never guess, online marketing, followed by search engine listings… No wonder I can’t get any of my clients to return my emails!

Common sense advice for email marketers:
Read the list. Post it at your desk or your online copywriter’s desk. And, at the end of the day, never use terms in your subject lines that you would block if you saw them in your email inbox!